Why is New Always Better?

Why is new always better? That statement “new is better” is made all the time. A brand name food you have purchased for 20 years now says, “New and improved flavor!” What if I don’t want it new? What do I do if it now tastes like a moldy sweat sock?

New and improved goes high tech too. Check into Facebook lately? Every time I get it figured out, they change it again. New friends features, themes, pokes and blocks. I imagine tech geeks sitting in a room somewhere saying, “let’s add more confusion, let’s just ratchet it up a notch by adding inane games by the handfuls.” I can’t even keep up with my own reality without worrying if my friends have enough fictitious cows, tractors, jewels, or treasure items. If my friends insist on asking me for farm items a million times like they do, I am confident I can scrounge up some real fertilizer and have it delivered to their apartment homes to assist them in their quest.

I’m embarrassed to admit that when I upgraded to a new cellphone, I instantly had to call my son for help. It reminded me of when he was a child in the bathroom being potty trained and when he was done, he’d call me to finish the job. Except now it was in reverse. I almost do that same whine he did when he felt helpless and needed the job done. “Son, I’m all done now, come and help me!”

I know I’m in good company when it comes to technological impairment. I see numerous people overwhelmed daily. I was sitting in a hospital break room not long ago when an older gentleman became befuddled with the room’s microwave. He turned to me exasperated and said, “how do you open this silly thing?” The situation would have been hilarious if it wasn’t so pitiful. He had no dementia, he had complete control of his faculties except he was trying to put his meal in a radio.

I’m with him; a microwave needs an on, off, and timer button, that’s it. I feel like I’m playing a video game just turning on my microwave anymore. In fact, I think the cockpit in the Apollo 12 spaceship had less buttons.

I do wish some of the manufacturers that peddle the “new and improved” stuff knew what I know. The truth is, the only person in this world that welcomes change is a wet baby.

I am making strides, I ditched my VHS player for a DVD player not long ago. What thrills me is not that the technology offers me a better picture. I’m thrilled that for the first time in ten years I have a new piece of equipment that doesn’t incessantly blink the number 12. I never could figure out how to set the time on the blasted thing.

So what new technologies will I try tonight? I think I’ll just unplug the TV and keep it on the 24 hour Amish Channel. Nothing ever changes on this station 🙂

About enthusiasmiscontagious

I am an individual who analyzes all facets of life in the hopes of squeezing out some of the humorous parts.
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