I’m Not Sick, I’m Health Challenged!

Posted on November 14, 2012 by enthusiasmiscontagious

The story is told of a man who received a phone call from his doctor. The doctor told him, “I have bad news and worse news.” The man asked, “Well, what’s the bad news?” The doctor replied, “You have only 24 hours to live. Gasping with shock, the man replied,”What could be worse than that?” The doctor pausing says, “I have been trying to reach you since yesterday.”

I don’t know about you, but this new healthcare model enacted by congress makes me gasp! And why shouldn’t it? It’s only patterned after other successful country’s healthcare programs, right?

Consider this, the British healthcare service the NHS, is responsible for overseeing that nation’s socialized medicine program. Supporters here have trumpeted Britain’s program and want us to duplicate it. I can’t help but think of the old adage, “Be careful what you want, because you’ll get it.”

This past year, NHS data showed that there were 326 never events in Britain. Never events are serious patient safety incidents that should never happen. So, what happened under their “successful program?” 161 patients had foreign objects left in them after surgery. “Hey honey, ever since that knee surgery, I seem to rattle a little bit more when I get out of bed.” Or how would you like to be one of the 70 people who had surgery on the wrong body part? Or the 41 individuals who got the wrong implant or prosthesis? That gives a whole new meaning to the legal term, “you don’t have a leg to stand on” or sayings like, I’ve got two left feet. Do you know the phrase, “I’m all ears” actually could be true? Then there is the 23 patients who had naso-gastric tubes misplaced. Don’t ask me where they were placed, I’m afraid to ask.

The British government says it’s not possible to compare these troubling figures with previous data because (egads) the number of incidents have tripled in recent years.

Finally the last example would be funny if it hadn’t turned out so tragic. A 22-year old patient was so thirsty and neglected, that he dialed the American equivalent of 911 to beg for a glass of water from police. When they arrived at the hospital to investigate, nurses sent them away saying they had already taken care of the patient. Sadly he died of thirst the following day, they never did bring him a drink. The worse part, this incident occurred at a major teaching hospital.

I don’t know about you, but if this socialized circus comes to the United States I’m making plans now. I want a consult with a compassionate veterinarian. At least I won’t have an object left inside me and my bowl of water will be full!

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Conflict Coaching

Posted on November 12, 2012 by enthusiasmiscontagious

My newest passion has kept me busy as of late. I am endeavoring to gain further skills in conflict mediation. Do you know anyone in conflict? You do? I thought so.

I heard a story right along these lines. A man was standing at the bed of his dying wife, she told him she had but one request. Leaning toward her hanging on her every word he stated, “anything, you name it.” She surprised him by saying that she wanted him to promise that he would ride to the cemetery in the car with her mother. The husband was taken back. He hadn’t spoken to his mother-in-law in 10 years. She was such a nag. The wife begged him to promise that he would indeed sit with her Mom all the way to the cemetery. Realizing his wife would not take no for an answer he said begrudgingly, Okay I will, (sigh) but it’ll ruin my day!”

Sometimes our conflict makes us focus on issues that would appear rather misguided in comparison to the bigger picture. One small example here, does it really matter where we choose to go on vacation? Isn’t one less day in the office anywhere, better than spending it at (you fill in the blank)! Resolving conflict really does require negotiation and a new way of thinking.

A husband had battled his wife for years over her bad attitude and had reached his breaking point. Reading the newspaper one afternoon his wife came home and began complaining as she always had done. The first thing from her mouth was, “You won’t believe the day I’ve had!”

Quickly trying to defuse another volatile conversation he emphatically said, “Stop! There’s a new rule in this house. Unless you can say anything positive, don’t open your mouth!” The wife taken back by her husband’s new initiative changed the pitch of her voice immediately. Speaking softly with a fake cheery demeanor she said with excitement “then honey, you’ll be happy to know the air bags work!”

Herein lies the quandary of the marriage relationship. If disagreements arise often between a husband and wife and they do, why aren’t we better experts at resolving it after umpteen years of togetherness? I’d really like to answer that question but I can’t. My wife is reading this over my shoulder and if I told you my opinion, it may cause a conflict!

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My Assessment of the Election

Posted on November 9, 2012 by enthusiasmiscontagious

A Father and Mother were most distressed because their daughter was getting serious with a young man. The boyfriend was unkempt, had little initiative, and could hardly keep a job. The daughter had told her parents they were coming over to the house to give them some news. Fearing the worst (marriage), the mother told her husband that when the two arrived, that the father take him to the study and try to drill some sense into his head.

Upon entering the house, the father instructed the young man to come into the study where he could talk to him privately. The conversation centered around the subject of the seriousness of the relationship between the young man and their daughter. The father asked, “What job do you presently hold?” The young man answered, “I clean floors at a fast food restaurant.” The father said, “well that’s not much money to provide for our daughter.!” The young man said, “Don’t worry, God will provide!” No matter the question, the young man continued to speak of his undying love for the daughter and that God would provide.”

Sending him out of the room, the mother entered and said to her husband, “What happened, did you get through to him?” To which the father replied, ‘Honey, I have good news and bad news.” She inquired, “what’s the bad news?” He replied, “He’s going to marry our daughter.” Stunned she asked, “What’s the good news?” He replied, “He thinks I’m God!”

The election leaves me with the same quandary. With all the debts we’ve amassed as a country, did anyone think to ask before they pulled the lever in the ballot box, “How are we going to pay for it all?

The issue here is not which party rules the roost, it’s which party is willing to place the needs of the nation over the wants of their party?

We have reasons to be very concerned. Food stamp participation has risen over 70% in the past four years, the real unemployment figures are not the government issued 8.2 % but an effectual 15% rate. Unemployment data is only counted for five weeks. After that time period, unemployed workers are no longer counted in the equation.

If we don’t create jobs and get a handle on our debt soon, in a very short time we won’t have to worry about long lines at department stores the day after Thanksgiving. We’ll all be exchanging glances for Christmas, we’ll be poor.

The election results did help me realize one thing. I’ve made an appointment with my Optometrist. I think I have to update my prescription on my rose colored glasses, the world’s going to look very different from now on!

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Dumbing down Commercials

Posted on November 7, 2012 by enthusiasmiscontagious

I seldom have a moment to watch television. This morning I woke up early and not wanting to awaken my wife, I chose to watch a rare tv show on my IPhone. I plugged in my earphones and though it felt like I was watching it through a keyhole, my warm bed offset the inconvenience. If you’ve never watched tv on your phone, the annoyance isn’t that there is commercials, it’s that you have to watch the same commercial six times.

I often wonder about advertisers and the demographics of the viewers they target. I know I can’t be the only person who wonders who are the neanderthals these advertisers are aiming for? This is not my reality. I mean, have you ever seen your spouse dance around a bathroom with a sparkly clean plunger singing a happy tune to an orchestra when you gave them a new cleaner? No? Then you need a new cleaner.

How about the woman who has intestinal complications? In the commercial as she passes by in her canoe, she yells, “I have no worries” and promptly pulls out an Imodium bottle that looks like a water cooler bottle. I’m sorry, but is she traveling the whole Lewis and Clark trail?

So here I am watching my tv show and the commercial comes on with two young and attractive people in bed. You think it’s a romance story as you hear the announcer say, “the morning is a special time for the two of you.” Then out of nowhere, a cat is standing on the woman’s chest purring and pawing at her face to give it food. This is the first fail. As she heads to the kitchen, she opens a cupboard that looks like a cat food shelf at Costco. How much food can one cat eat?

The next part of the commercial is even more stupid and inane. The woman kneels down and places a fancy tray on the floor. The cat runs up to it’s bowl (made of china no less) sitting on a fancy napkin with a fresh cut flower in a vase setting beside it. The next moment is priceless, the couple give loving looks to each other while the cat feasts.

I’m not a detective, but the relationship between the adults has to be in the earliest stages. No morning kiss, no I love you, instead the cat is the center of the universe. And this is okay with the guy? I’m sorry, but if my wife gave that kind of treatment to a cat, you’d better be sure I’m waiting in line for my equal or better treatment; back rub, breakfast in bed.

I can assure you, five years down the road, if I’ve worked the late shift and that cat bats me awake or uses my new couch for a scratching post, it will be meowing, “Houston, this is Evil Cat-Nevil we have a problem, my owner’s launched me into the stratosphere off his boot and I don’t have a parachute.”

I’m not a cat lover, but aren’t cats something like teenagers? They act loving towards you when they want something, otherwise when you call them they stick up their nose, walk away, and deny your existence?

Nope, if I have a pet, despite what advertisers say, I’m NOT serving them a meal on a fancy tray. Like everyone else in the household, they will get what’s on sale and it will be on plastic plates. Nothing but the second best for my family. Sorry cat, I’m saving the flowers for my wife’s breakfast tray for when I’m in the doghouse. You remember that family member don’t you?

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