Twas the month after Christmas


I found this Holiday appropriate poem and I had to share. The author is unknown; but I give her kudos for her wit and sense of humor.                    

 ‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the fudge I did taste, all the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I remembered the marvelous meals I’d prepared, the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare. The pies and the cakes, the bread and the cheese, and the way I never said, “No thank you please.” As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt, and prepared once again to do battle with dirt— I said to myself, as I only can “You can’t spend the winter disguised as a man!” So away with the last of the sour cream dip, get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip. Every last bit of food that I like must be banished, ‘till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick, I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore — But isn’t that what January’s for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot … Happy New Year and to all a good diet!

About enthusiasmiscontagious

I am an individual who analyzes all facets of life in the hopes of squeezing out some of the humorous parts.
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