Since I am on the Road, I’ll share with you a post from my New Mexico Column, “The Lighter Side.”
The other day I was sent on a simple trip. I was to go to the local department store after work and pick up a bottle of shampoo for my daughter. An easy task right? Hardly! Do you ever have a day when making one more decision is just one to many?
I arrived at the hair care aisle totally unprepared. I found shampoos with wheat germ, lemon seed extract, thistle slivers, avocado, crushed aloe, cocoa butter, almond paste, guava oil, and honey. I even found shampoos with wildflower oils in it. It’s no wonder that in the summer, bees want to pollinate my head. How about musk oil? I still hate to think where this oil comes from since the only origin I know is from an ox gland. I even found a shampoo called Mane and Tail that can be used safely by humans and animals alike. How comforting to know that if I choose, I can take a shower with my gelding. I ask myself, does a hair follicle really know the difference between the 97-cent Acme brand and the $12 Papaya Permeating Petal Dew brand?
When was the last time a handsome man sat next to you, took a deep breath of your essence and passionately whispered, “You must have washed your hair in a non-allergenic, body building, anti-global warming floral scented, hibiscus based pear juice shampoo.” I don’t think so! Unless it smells like microwave popcorn, save your money. Men aren’t going to notice your shampoo unless it comes in a souvenir football helmet and smells like WD-40.
I laugh at various manufacturers who use everything from supermodels to cartoon characters to tout their products. As if a bottle with the Tasmanian Devil on it would make me rush down to my local hair care center. I am still looking for a bottle that says, “If your hair sticks up like a pair of antlers, try Bullwinkle Mousse.”
Decisions can overwhelm us in the simplest of tasks. Consider clothes washing for instance. Aside from the separation of colors and which soap to use, recent women’s magazines tout the fact that if you are single, laundromats are the best place to find a man. I hate to burst some bubbles, but if a man is over 30 and doesn’t yet own a washing machine, shouldn’t this raise a caution flag? I wonder if the same magazines say the tell-tale sign of a good male prospect is a ten dollar roll of quarters?
Just think about how many decisions we are forced to make each and every day. The very moment I sit for breakfast I have to choose between eight cereal brands, when I shower-three soaps, cologne-five, parking places at work-40, priority list at work-15, where to eat at lunch-25, routes home-3. It’s no wonder when I get home the only thing I want to decide is whether I want to turn on my electric blanket now or later. Now if I could only decide when to go to bed 9 pm or 10 pm? Another decision, Oh, no, I’m doing it again!