This week I achieved a milestone that seems to elude most people. I celebrated thirty years of marriage with the same woman. I preface this statement by saying that it’s really been thirty five if you count the wind chill. There were a few cold years smattered in there.
As I uploaded my wedding pictures to share with family and friends, I made present day comparisons to my youthful bygone years. It looks like I ran for President of the United States. Instead of a full mop of red hair, it’s now extremely gray. I have more chins than a Chinese phone book and I’m twice the man my wife married. I define old age in this manner; it’s when your broad mind and narrow waist change places. I’m grateful God kept my bride youthful and energetic. The only thing I possess greater than her is my eyesight. It’s a winning combination though; she can wheel me to the Bingo parlor and I can read the game card. On second thought since I eschew gambling, we’ll just play for a fifty-cent coupon off Jello.
As I reflect on my present life, I weigh the good with the bad. I’m grateful as a couple we are still hot; thanks to our God given hormones. I envy those few and far between friends who still have bodies that twenty-something’s would envy. Reality can be humbling for the rest of us. Recently a 50-plus man joined a health club in order to scope out the young “babes” as he called it. However as he went from machine to machine, he couldn’t figure out how to use it, turn it on, or what it was supposed to do. Walking over to the hard-bodied fitness trainer he asked her, “What machine can I use that would most impress the women?” Looking at his bald head and paunchy belly she said flatly, “The ATM machine in the lobby!”
And that my friends is why I choose to be married to my bride of thirty years, she’s still impressed. And me? Why she impresses me even more.