My Facebook Path to Discovery


I suppose at the age of 52 if I don’t know what I want to be in life, I might as well give it up. I don’t understand why, or better yet why the proliferation of self evaluation tests on Facebook now? I suppose the NSA doesn’t know enough about us, so lets let them in on our deeply held secrets. I think some social media geek at 3 in the morning must have opined, “My life stinks, so let’s make some random questionnaires so everyone can feel miserable with me in my unfulfilled dreams.”

So from the devil’s playground of idleness, Facebook’s self evaluation tests were born. If you weren’t depressed before, now you can spend the remainder of your day feeling lower than a frog belly. As you take these evaluations, you’ll learn you were born either too early or too late. You’ll discover if you were a cartoon character which one would you be. If you were a ocean creature who would you favor. You’ll discover you chose the wrong vocation and you’ll finally learn the hard way that you really do have the personality of a centipede on Ritalin. And regrets? These tests bring back memories you thought lay long dormant.

I graduated 34 years ago from high school. Can I safely say after 30 years of marriage that I’ve finally stopped kicking myself for being too shy and not asking the pretty brunette in high school algebra out on a date? My wife hopes so! At least I have the comfort of seeing that former love interest’s picture on Facebook. I’m not saying she’s changed but and she could easily beat me in arm wrestling today.

So now out of sheer boredom, I’m cajoled into taking a myriad amount of tests and quizzes by my friends to find out who I really am. I’ve learned so far this week that I act 35, I should have been born 40 years earlier in Texas, and I’m a benevolent nerd who likes the simple life. Does anyone else salivate at the thought of a log cabin in the mountains next to a bubbling brook?

I’m reminded of a young family who had gathered at church for a special occasion. Two of younger children were going to be dedicated into the service of the Lord. The older five year old brother Tommy watched the proceedings with keen interest. When the time came for the Pastor to call his family to the front of the church, he followed his mother and father and little baby brother to the front. The Pastor prayed a prayer of dedication on the littlest child and family and the church joined into hearty Amen’s and the dedication was over. However the family watched the older sibling and knew something had profoundly changed him. He was uncharacteristically quiet throughout the remaining part of the service and even in the car stared silently out the window on the return home. Finally within moments of arriving home, the mother said, “Tommy, why are you so quiet”?

The child started to cry and blurted out, “during the dedication the Pastor said my little brother and I were going to live in Christian home, but we want to stay with you.”

I don’t need a Facebook test for self discovery, I’ll forgo my lost dreams and missed opportunities and admit plainly that I’m a Christian. That’s a label I’ll never regret.

About enthusiasmiscontagious

I am an individual who analyzes all facets of life in the hopes of squeezing out some of the humorous parts.
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