This week marks the very first time I will have ever seen my first grandchild in the flesh. I have seen pictures and video but never held my little Brynli. How she got her name, I have no idea. It’s as unique and special as the family she was born into. People ask me all the time, “what’s it like to be a grandfather?” To be honest with you, I haven’t got the faintest idea! It’s like asking an Amish person, “How do you like microwave ovens?” You’ll get the same blank stare and response I’m giving now. How in the world should I know, I’ve never had one before!
No offense to the Mom’s in the world, but they have a lot more creative thinking than I do. I see a new born, and I think of a California Dancing Raisin without the top hat. I laugh when the first pictures are passed around and all the women coo, “He looks like his Mommy, or she has her Father’s lips.” All this is speculative gobbly-gook. I think every American child born looks like they’re from the orient. Which begs the question, do oriental children look American when they’re born? Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m going to fall in love with my granddaughter when I see her, but don’t ask me to hold her.
It always makes me feel creepy when a newborn is handed to you and the head flops around like a Bobble Head doll in a diaper. I always think I’m going to break something. I’ll gladly hold her when she can say “Grampy” and can ask me to read her a story. Right now though she’s closer to a Play-Doo factory than a Play-Doh factory yet oddly enough the designs and color schemes are eerily similar.
I can envision that magic moment. I’m sitting in the easy chair, my little girl in my arms looks up at me and smiles. It will be then that a moronic family member will burst my bubble by saying, “She’s not smiling it’s gas!” No I think I’ll let my wife do the snuggling, I’ll be at Disney World scouting out her first Kiddy ride, “It’s a Small World After All.” I’ll even bring back a Minnie Mouse hat with the big Mouse ears. Then when she wears it, I can proudly say with confidence, she does have her Grampa’s ears.