It’s wonderful to experience the handiwork of a talented artisan. To sit on a beautiful creation like a treasured bench or chair. Or maybe to gaze upon the splendor of a mosaic tile creation that a creator took pride making. These are the individuals who impress and inspire me.

There are some who can even make a mundane job appear exciting. But the one job that leaves me with a less than stellar job appreciation rating is the road side rest area maintenance worker. Why you ask? Because of one simple error that is made by 99% of all of them. Why do they always and I mean always, place the metal toilet paper dispenser parallel with the toilet seat where your leg needs to be? If you have a bottom bigger than a 1 year old, prepare to conduct business side saddle.

About ten years ago, I envision a conversation going something like this between two workers. “Joe, you know what would be a hoot? Let’s make a fraternity of road side guys like us who can make a rest stop bathroom experience as much fun as a root canal without Novocaine. We could make every visitor using the bathroom be a contortionist. We could invent a new game called bathroom twister!” “Yeah that would be awesome” says the second guy, “And while we’re at it, let’s also raise the urinals so that you have to be a member of the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team to use them. Ha ha!” “Even better, in the ladies room, lets place the toilet paper so far away that you have to have to genuflect to get to it.”

I cringe each time I visit these “fine” establishments. I’m almost at the point where I’d rather wear a NASA diaper (the kind astronauts wear) so I won’t have to stop on my 3-day cross country excursion.

Are there any positives about rest area restrooms? I do have a little fun when I visit them, I leave signs above all the hand blowers that say, “Press for a 3-minute prerecorded message from your congressman.” You have to find something to make your journey laughable?