Have you ever heard of the saying, “The world is going to hell in a hand basket?” Well I have news, we’re running out of hand baskets! Three events this week prompted me to reach this conclusion. First, I have absorbed all I can take of absurd politicians and inane celebrities. The first example, a garden replete with meadow muffins and barnyard biscuits concerns the new president of France. Francois Hollande announced this past week that he will end homework as part of a series of reforms to overhaul the country’s education system. That’s right, he’s ending homework for students. And the reason he wants to ban homework? He doesn’t think it is fair that some children get help from their parents at home while children who come from single parent homes do not. Thus eliminate it for everyone!
This logic makes about as much sense as a kickstand on a tank. I guess the society of excellence, Who’s Who, will now be replaced in France by What’s What?
Meanwhile in Great Britain, Prince Harry embarrassed the Royal Family yet again. He did it this time by acting like a moron by cavorting without clothes while publicly bear hugging a woman who was also sans clothing. In defense of the prince a witness told the British newspaper The Sun that, (this is priceless) “his actions were gentlemanly, because he was only trying to protect the girl’s modesty from onlookers. I would file this lame excuse with, “the dog hit control-alt-delete on the computer with his paws and my homework was erased! Hey, we still do homework in the good ole USA.
The last case involves the University of North Carolina- Chapel Hill. Talk about insanity. The school leadership removed the word “freshman” from official university documents, citing as their reason an attempt to adopt more “gender inclusive language.” Though they did not say what the term of replacement for freshman would be, I can assure you that many young female students will be embarrassed. That’s because they’ll have to introduce their new boyfriends to their parents as “fresh-persons”. The students even shared their opinions that the ruling is in their words, “stupid”.
UNC, let’s not end the foolishness here. From now on, the campus cafeteria shouldn’t serve Eskimo pies, it may offend Native Americans and vending machines shouldn’t sell crackers because it is a slang for rich white guys.
I sure have a renewed hope knowing that one day my future rests in the hands of politically correct Fresh-Persons, don’t you?