A Laughing Matter

My wife works in a college writing center. Her passion is to help young students achieve something they never thought possible, an education. I’m sure her task is at times daunting when the students submit a paper and can’t even seem to master the basics let alone the proper syntax.

At times, she has recommended her students study and read a “good” newspaper so they can get the feel of writing. The Murray State College department of Journalism some years ago issued some of the best bloopers they found when combing newspapers throughout our country. Here are some of the finer ones that are a laughing matter, but only if they aren’t concerning you:

* Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
* Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
* Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
* Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
* Farmer Bill Dies in House
* Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
* Eye Drops Off Shelf
* Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
* President Wins on Budget but More Lies Ahead
* Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
* Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
* Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
* Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Line
* Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
* Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
* Deer Kill 17,000
* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
* Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
* Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed the Needy
* British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
* Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
* Air Head Fired
* Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
* Hospitals Sued by Seven Foot Doctors
* Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
* Include your Children when Baking Cookies

These headlines may be a nightmare for an editor, but it sure brightened my day. I’m still laughing.

About enthusiasmiscontagious

I am an individual who analyzes all facets of life in the hopes of squeezing out some of the humorous parts.
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