The Cure for Situational High Blood Pressure


With my wife away on family business, I received a call from a buddy who invited me out for dinner. Don’t you just love after a frenetic day taking a quiet moment to eat with friends? I took him up on the offer and arrived at my favorite restaurant. Though the service was slow, we still enjoyed updating each other on our busy work day in a quiet setting.

Moments later, a family of four; three woman and a child entered and sat nearby our table. If a child could be channeled by the Tasmanian Devil cartoon character, this child was it. Running up and down around the tables and screaming for all he was worth (he was about 4 or 5), the young mother tried with little enthusiasm or success to corral and hold him still. He jumped over the backs of the booths to the other side, he hung upside down off the chairs. He did everything one could hope if his aim was to make all of us desire a one way ticket to Trembling Hills Asylum.

Around the tables of the restaurant, I am confident each of us had the very same thought. We all had reason to give thanks that this ‘cherub’ with the bent halo bypassed our family trees.

Even now I continue to be stunned at the thoughtless parents who simply don’t care or don’t get it when it comes to unruly children. Maybe I’m a little old fashioned. I look at a parent and wonder why do you allow your child to be the equivalent of a natural disaster? I firmly believe in ancient Egypt if Moses had this child when he went to free his people, he could have saved himself six plagues.

I have asked myself over and over again, how do I deal with a problem child and a family that doesn’t care about how it affects the rest of us? How do I get my point across with minimal stress to me? I found it at Walmart for $8. It’s an air horn in a can. You know, the kind of noise maker boaters use when in distress? Wouldn’t you love to walk up to a table that’s totally ruined your meal and make your point with conviction? You simply walk over, depress the little button on your can, and create a blast for the offending family that not only parts their hair, but can be heard in Wyoming? Do I have your attention now?

How about other uses like silly family arguments at Thanksgiving? ….long honking blast! Children fighting on vacation…..honk! In-laws complaining about your cooking…..honk! Couch Potato husband who won’t fix the sink?….double honk during the football game! Yes I’m well aware that this won’t win you points with your Pastor, but I know you’re smiling.

Okay, okay, it’s all a dream, but the image still has me grinning from ear to ear. Funny, my blood pressure’s dropped 50 points just dreaming about it too! 🙂

About enthusiasmiscontagious

I am an individual who analyzes all facets of life in the hopes of squeezing out some of the humorous parts.
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