The marital bliss between one couple had given way to acrimony and bitterness. During an argument one evening the wife began shouting, “Get out and never come back!” The husband who was use to this barrage of words grabbed his belongings and began to walk out the front door. It was then the wife added, “I hope you die a slow painful death!” To which the husband stopped, turned around and said, “Okay, so you want me to stay now?”

It would bring a chuckle if it weren’t so sad. The state of matrimony has evolved into something lately that I don’t like. I don’t recall when prior to my own marriage 31 years ago, that I ever heard that the purpose of marriage is to make us happy; you do now. My response when someone asks me how many years I’ve been married is: “Thirty-one, but it’s really thirty-five if you count the wind chill.” I preface this statement by saying there were a few cold years in there.

My marriage is constantly evolving. I liken it to a game of whack-a-mole. You’ve seen this game in an arcade. You stand poised with a rubber mallet in your hand and over the course of several minutes your aim is to whack one of nine moles that raises its’ head above the ground. No more moles to whack, you won!

Marriage is a lot like that. Every time you think you’ve laid to rest a problem or an annoyance, we’re tempted to enact corrective discipline with a bonk to the head. I can assure you it doesn’t work; though at times I’ve been tempted to test that theory.

When I attended Bible College prior to getting married, my professor used to say, “marriage is a foretaste of heaven!” Wow did that statement not prepare me for the “real thing.” Though I understand his intent, I’ve learned only fairy tales end with “happily ever after.”

Bluntly speaking, marriage is “Spiritual Academy” for lovers. God said, “You want to learn what kindness, unselfishness, patience, and grace is? Get married. You want to feel how I feel when you give your best and are taken for granted? Get married. You want to have a host of little people everywhere vying for your attention and asking you for favors all the time? Get married!

As a child I took up a hobby, lapidary. It is this craft where you cut, polish, and sometimes engrave stones and gems. To achieve a perfect polish to a rock, you must place it in a sand and water tumbler with other rocks. I was always amazed after a significant amount of grinding and bumping together, that a smooth and shiny surface would materialize. Sometimes I was stunned with the beauty that was hidden. I’m glad to say that my marital relationship has finally achieved a smooth finish. But it sure took a lot of grit, grinding and water to make it attractive.  The grit and grinding represents our personalities and wants, the water; love.

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?”
To which all the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.

The women were then told, “take out their cell phones and text your husband: “I love you, sweetheart.” The women were then told to exchange phones with the person sitting next to them, and to read aloud the text message they received.

Here were some of the replies:
1. Who’s this?
2. Yeah, and I love you too. What’s up with you??
3. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
4. What did you do now?
5. You’re kidding, right?
6. Don’t beat about the bush; just tell me how much you need?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.
9. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?

I believe the life lesson here is, start your marriage on the right path, tell your spouse you love them and be sure it’s far more often