The Baptist Dog

Have you ever purchased something that didn’t meet your expectations? This story of religious humor should bring you a chuckle.

A family had been looking for just the perfect dog. In fact, being devote Christians they wanted everything in their life to match their values; and that included a pet. Their children had been begging for a dog for some time because, “all their friends had one”. One night while listening to their umpteenth plea, the father and mother promised them they both would find them just the right pet beginning tomorrow.

Contacting a friend, they learned of an exotic pet store that catered to unique requests and demands. As they entered the store, the husband found the shop keeper and asked, “by chance do you have a Baptist dog?” The man became extremely animated and said, “Believe it or not, we just received one yesterday.” Turning to look at a side door in the room, the shop keeper whistled and yelled, “Fido, come out here!”

In the blink of an eye, a large dog ran out, sat down, and extended his paw to the inquiring couple. They were most impressed with his manners, but what transpired next left them speechless. The owner of the shop turning to the dog said in a commanding voice, “Fido, go get your Bible.” Immediately the dog ran out of the room and returned moments later with a burgundy bag holding a prominent King James version.

Now with the Bible cover strap in it’s mouth, the shop keeper turned to Fido and said, “It’s meeting time.” The dog immediately nudged a chair back from a table nearby, jumped on the chair, placed the Bible down on the table and opened it with his nose and barked. The keeper then said, “Okay Fido, John 3:16.” Immediately the dog pawed his way through the pages until he came to the correct scripture then barked wildly. The couple was astonished. Next the shop keeper said, “Good boy Fido, now Psalm 23.” Immediately the dog flipped the pages with his paw, found the correct text again then began to bark like mad. The perspective couple were again speechless he found the correct text in record time.

The couple now gleeful and without further review, said we’ll take him immediately! Upon arriving home, the children were ecstatic and they were all grateful that one could not ask for a kinder more gentle dog. A few days later at the family reunion, the family was most anxious to brag upon their new Baptist dog. They extolled his virtues of kindness, meekness and Bible knowledge. However in the midst of the conversation, a brother-in-law spoke up and said, “It’s impressive an all that he knows the “Good Book” but is he like a regular dog where he can do regular dog tricks?

The couple thought for a moment and said, “I don’t know, we’ve never tried”. Going to the back door and whistling loudly the new owner yelled in a loud voice, “Fido, come here and heel.” Like he was shot out of a cannon, the dog came flying through the door, ran to his master, jumped on his hind legs, and slapped him on the forehead with his paw. Immediately he began to howl up a storm. Turning to his wife in shock he exclaims, “Honey, we’ve been snookered, he’s Pentecostal.”

About enthusiasmiscontagious

I am an individual who analyzes all facets of life in the hopes of squeezing out some of the humorous parts.
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5 Responses to The Baptist Dog

  1. Denise Lauze' says:

    Dear John,
    Thank you for this week’s blog entitled: The Baptist Dog. My caregiving obligations, of the past week, have left me in need of a good belly laugh and this did the trick! As always, thank you for sharing the blessing of your enthusiasm. 🙂

    • Denise that you for your kind words. Would you be up for a visit or dinner out sometime soon? By the way, I’m still smiling from the SuperBowl results 🙂

      • Denise Lauze' says:

        Dear John, although not a football enthusiast, I did watch the Super Bowl and was both surprised and pleased by the outcome! It reminded me of something Dad use to say when watching a Bruins game: “It’s not over till it’s over.” Thank you for your generous offer for a visit. As you know I am homebound with Dad and as such welcome visitors. Mid to late afternoons are best. Please give me a call so we can plan accordingly. 731-394-2926. Thank you.

  2. Tesa says:

    I woke Arthur up to read it to him…..

  3. Tesa says:

    He groaned a short laugh…. He’ll laugh more when’s he’s awake. Good one John.

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