There is nothing like a vacation to clear life’s cobwebs from your mind. I just returned from my, “Around the World in 80 Buffets” vacation. I drove from Tennessee to Vermont, picked up my parents and then drove us all to Florida to see the new great grand baby and attend a family wedding.

The night before we left Vermont I was reunited with a childhood friend who was an overnight guest of my parents. We talked into the wee hours of the morning. Despite the twenty-five years since we had last seen each other, her smile and blue eyes were just as sweet as they were when we palled around in our youth.

The next morning at the crack of 11 am, we made our way south via every Golden Corral known to man (we have the App on our cell phones). Though I was anxious to get on our way, I was cheated out of seeing all the brilliant colors of the trees and fresh apple cider which northern Vermont is famous.

Traveling with older parents has it’s benefits. Every teen cashier we encountered in any restaurant thought we were equally ancient. I was consistently given the senior citizen discount along with my parents everytime. The food was easier to swallow than the age gaffe but then again I’ve reached a time in my life where a discount is more prized than a bruised ego.

As we visited numerous establishments along the roads of Maryland, Virginia, South Carolina and others, I was reminded daily my disdain for one particular thing. One-ply bathroom tissue. Do companies really think they’re saving money by stocking bath rooms with rice paper? I haven’t seen anything this thin since a congressional hearing on ethics. Of course I didn’t study the brands side by side, but I bet the comparison to two-ply has to be forty-to-one.

As we made stops in Myrtle Beach, Jacksonville, and Orlando, I wished we had t-shirts that said, “I’m on vacation, my cell phone and mind is on silent.” It didn’t matter where we went, some family with six kids who all forgot to take their Ritalin, would sit next to us. Even one of the hotels we stayed in featured the rhythmic music of an Island themed wedding late into the night. I’m sure the attendees had a blast, but our room was over the ballroom. You haven’t really slept until you’ve been rocked (excuse me…serenaded) to sleep by a calypso band. I had dreams I was in the Desi Arnez Band.

Throughout the trip my mother asked me several times, “Are you going to write about us in your weekly blog? I assured her I would be most complimentary. I will tell my readers if you do have the fortune of going on vacation with me, it will always include three things. Good food, thrift stores, and a comfortable bed. It’s kind of like staying at home but with a different cast of characters to make it a tad bit more interesting.