Have you ever taken a stroll in the neighborhood and inadvertently walked into a spider web. While you’re gyrating and jerking to free yourself of natures version of Glad Wrap, everyone else in the neighborhood thinks your IPOD is playing Hip Hop tunes. Besides the chance of swallowing a spider, the real angst in all of this was you never saw it coming. The web was transparent.
I enjoy my quiet times with my wife, but sometimes with her, I walk into the unforeseen web. Despite our decades together, she still pops off an occasional question I never saw coming. A conversation may go something like this, “Honey, do you remember the first time we met?” “Yes honey I do!” Then she’ll proceed, “What was I wearing when you first laid eyes on me?” And I’ll say, “Clothes!” Other questions might be, “I was reading a fascinating story on the most dangerous foods. Do you know the number one food that is responsible for early death? “Yes, wedding cake. The conversation always ends with, “You sure know how to ruin a mood.”
God never intended men to remember fashions, diets, exercise routines, or clothing styles. He only required men to remember three things in life; the Bible, sports stats, and anniversary dates. I know the first and third are true. Forget your anniversary once and you’ll never forget it again. Forget the first and God will make sure you never miss it again either. Men aren’t wired to remember the minor details of life. In fact, I feel as if I won the Nobel Peace prize if I just remember to replace the empty toilet paper roll in the master bathroom. I try to get my wife to high-five me every time I do, but it doesn’t seem to impress her as much as it does me.
When I think of my own lack of observance I am reminded of the story of Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Watson. The two had been busy on a multitude of cases and found taking a few days camping in the great outdoors to be relaxing and refreshing. They had set up camp, left for the day to do some hunting and returned to their campsite in the evening. While they wearily got into their bed rolls, Sherlock Holmes getting comfortable finally looked up and said to his assistant, “What do you notice different about the view as opposed to last night my dear Watson?” Watson responded, “Well, I notice the Big Dipper has shifted five degrees to the west since we saw it last night.” “Excellent responded Holmes, what else do you notice?” Well said Watson, “The Moon is full and I can faintly pick out the planet Venus in the southern sky.” “Excellent indeed, you are correct” said Holmes. “But you are missing one very important factor that should be as obvious as the nose on your face.”
Stumped, Watson studied the sky yet another ten minutes before he finally turned to his boss and said, “I give up, what is the biggest difference tonight as opposed to last night?” To which Holmes replied, “It’s elementary my dear Watson, tonight we see stars, last night we did not. Someone stole our tent!”
John Henrik Clarke once said, “A good teacher, like a good entertainer first must hold his audience’s attention, then he can teach his lesson.” One thing I’m confident about now that I’ve been married 30 years, and that is both God and my wife have my full attention!”