I have just returned from a three day seminar on marriage enrichment. Marriage is like food. Everyone eats, therefore they feel like an expert in the field of food. The same can be said for marriage. Just because you’ve been married umpteen years, doesn’t mean you should write a book on how to do marriage.

A husband sat in the living room reading his newspaper one day when his wife of 25 years came in the front door depressed. With a woeful sigh she exclaimed, “You won’t believe the day I’ve had!” This exasperated the husband. He stated emphatically, “Honey, Ive listened to your negativity constantly all these years. There’s a new rule in this house. Unless it’s positive from now on, you can’t say anything at all.” She paused for a moment and breaking into a smile she said, “Then you’ll be happy to know the airbags work!”

In order to foster reflection and intimacy at our recent meetings, the presenters asked us during our evening break, to take our spouse by the hand and find a symbol in nature that best reflects your marriage. Some brought back intertwined vines, others flowers. For our symbol, I brought back two dead love bugs.

When people ask me how many years we’ve been married, I tell them 29 years. But I add, it’s 32 if you count the windchill. When they have that puzzled look on their face I add, “There were a few cold years in between.”

It was after our noon lunch break at the seminar when we had a moment to ourselves. My wife turns to me and says, “So, do you want to walk or.” And before she finished I said, “I choose or!” She laughed. This is the kind of marriage we have. We laugh a lot and we talk a lot. I don’t profess to know all the answers to the perfect marriage, but when these two elements are present, and you ask God to be a present member of your family, your marriage can make it.

And finally when it comes to how her husband looks, my wife attests that the perfect husband is only a light switch away. This might explain why our electric bill was the lowest it’s ever been this past month.