Have you ever felt like the world was a classroom and you were the only teacher? It’s almost like the sign on the door of my life says push and everyone else on the other side thinks the sign says the exact same thing. It never ceases to amaze me what I must do to inspire individuals to embrace the world of peace and serenity.

I was visiting my mother recently, she loves bargains. Bargains are found in thrift shops right? So here we were in this quaint New England thrift shop with the faint smell of moth balls permeating the air. This is the official scent of thrift stores. The cashier was old. She looked like an old Betty Davis figure from Madame Trousseau’s Wax Museum. Yet despite her advanced age and the large senior citizen clientele in the store, she was playing rap music on the overhead speakers. As for me, the only time I will approve rap music being played around me will be at my funeral. The reason? I won’t care, I’ll be dead! Rap music is the equivalent of seeing a 500 pound woman in a spandex miniskirt and a t-shirt that says sexy. I’m not fooled. In fact, I find it the generic equivalent of ipecac. (medicine that makes you lose your lunch on purpose).

So here I am shopping with all the other senior citizens of the town and a rap song whose words are more than spicy comes blaring moderately through the store speakers. Do you know being supremely annoyed makes a person bold? I walked up to the elderly cashier and said, “I think your customers would prefer a nicer song to listen too.” Nonplussed she replied, “I don’t listen to it anyway!” To which I added, “Yes, but I find the lyrics shopping with my Mother a little unsettling” In monotone she asked, “Why what is the song saying?” I said, “It’s saying, it’s really hot in here, so let’s take off all our clothes!”

I learned something valuable, wax figures turn red and switch radio stations quickly when inspired.

Getting older makes me think differently. I no longer choose restaurants for the good food, I choose it for the noise level. How can a husband take out his wife for a romantic dinner when the noise level is equivalent to eating on the tarmac at the International Airport?

My life’s conundrum is, how does a person who craves a quiet and peaceful oasis live in a Chucky Cheese world? I think it starts with contentment. Even our metaphors for the best of something is noisy. When purchasing an opulent item we always say, “it must come with all the bells and whistles.” I stand firm in my answer for serenity. Quiet restaurants, quieter homes, and purchasing all hearing aid batteries from the discount store Big Lots. I’m confident; I know the batteries won’t last long. I’m okay with that too; because on the days I do run out, I’ll finally have at least one day of peace and quiet.