I Hate A Man Named Les


In the past thirty years I have come to hate an individual I have never met. Harsh words I know from a man who should know better. Whether you work in big business, teach in a school, volunteer at church, or deliver pizza’s you’ve heard his name a million times. I’m talking about a man named Les.

Each year for whatever reason, bosses across America are telling workers, “I’m sorry but you’re going to have to do more with Les.” “I know you’re doing the work of three people, but we have no choice, you’ll be working with Les today.”

My biggest question is, “WHO IS THIS MANIACAL SLAVE DRIVER, LES?” No one has ever seen him, so how do we know he exists? The proof is in the workplace.

The first piece of evidence of whether Les works with you at your job is if all the employees have a title. I was eating at a well-known restaurant chain recently and I opened the menu. Inside were two pictures of smiling employees with the titles of, “Freshness Officer,” and “Quality Inspector”. Twenty years ago these same people would have been known as cooks and waitresses. Now they sound like they should be serving me in full military uniforms adorned with gold braid.

The second piece of evidence that Les works at your job is how much energy you have at the end of the workday. If you crawl to your car and have only enough strength to bench press an egg noodle when you get home, this is added proof Les works at your job.

The third and final piece of evidence can be found in your paycheck. If the amount barely covers the cost of a box of Triscuits and Cheese Wiz after taxes, then Les definitely works at your job.

I suggest corporate America do three things for their employees: eliminate the fancy titles (they’re not fooling anybody) or raise the pay commensurate with the titles and let them work with Les for a change. Then for us, replace Les with a new Guy named Mr. More. We need More. I would far better appreciate spending my day working with More than Les, wouldn’t you?

About enthusiasmiscontagious

I am an individual who analyzes all facets of life in the hopes of squeezing out some of the humorous parts.
This entry was posted in The Lighter Side Newspaper column and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I Hate A Man Named Les

  1. Ray says:

    Great article. Well written. Thanks.

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