I took a round-trip flight out of Nashville to Denver recently or as I like to call it, I got my annual physical. Don’t believe me? The moment I arrived at the airport, I checked my bags and dignity at the door. I stood in line with people I didn’t know, had to partially disrobe, received a full body x-ray with my arms in the air, and had strange hands running up and down my body (my sweat between my shoulder blades kicked off a warning). An electric wand was used on me to save me the additional indignity of having to cough. The greatest obstacle to the security line is how quickly you must put your clothes back on after going through security. I couldn’t have dressed faster than if my changing room curtain fell down in a department store and I was facing the checkout line.

Murphy’s law (the one that says if anything can go wrong it will) stipulates that whatever airline ticket you purchase, you are going to leave from the furthest gate possible from the entrance. I left at gate 48 and 49 respectfully at both airports. Bring a pedometer, towel and track suit, you’ll feel like you finished a half marathon by the time you get to your departure gate.

I must say though that there was a Disneyesque feel about the place. Like fans of Peter Pan, we embarked to a far off Never Never Land, our luggage hopefully the only ones clueless to their final destination.

I did arrive in Denver full of wonder. I wondered how to get to the baggage claim and wondered where to pick up my hotel transport. I navigated to the hotel shuttle island only to find that I had missed my ride by 5 minutes. The wait would be another hour. So I sat outside on my metal bench without a jacket in 55 degree weather and tried to imagine that I wasn’t sitting in a meat locker.

I arrived at my hotel tired, cold, famished, and breathless. I was after all in the Mile High City. My scant adventure would be over in 24 hours and I’d be traveling back home the very next day.

I’d tell you I loved the experience and it was exhilarating, but like another Disney character, my nose would give me away.