Why is it that when you have a horrible and disgusting experience eating something, the first response by the server or waiter is, “Do you want another one ?” Whatever happened to just getting your money back? I recently ordered a strawberry shake, a favorite of mine, at an ice cream shop. The shake wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad either. Meeting the needs of my discriminating taste buds, I was halfway through with it when my straw came to what I thought was a delectable strawberry. Sucking with great gusto, I siphoned the object of my desire through the flex straw and it shot in my mouth in a flash. I know strawberries, I love strawberries, instantaneously, I knew that, “this was NO strawberry.”

What it turned out to be was the biggest one-winged fly I had ever seen from the planet Humongous. Grossed out and trying to regain my composure, I waited in line to speak to the hapless server and show him the hideous creature from my beverage. His response in monotone, and with zero emotion responded, “Would you like another strawberry shake?” I replied, “Why do you think you can hit the jackpot and find the other wing for me?”

Have I been scarred too mentally and emotionally by this ordeal? Not too bad. Unlike the woman who spilled coffee in her lap and sued for a million dollars, I shall go on my merry way. However, did you know it takes a full 93 minutes to finish a large drink by sucking on a coffee stirrer? It gives me a great sense of security knowing that from now on, the only thing that will go up my straw again besides the beverage is an amoeba. I can live with that!