Making the Most of Worthless Meetings 10/16/97


Have you ever attended a meeting and wondered what the purpose of it was?

I attended a food service meeting not long ago. The two-days of meetings covered topics from how to make a successful pot of coffee to how to apply makeup successfully. If you are trying to figure out what food service and makeup have in common, join the club. I suppose it is important to know how to secure your false eyelashes lest an unsuspecting customer think a centipede is strolling through his/her potato salad.

The next part of the meetings centered around how to garnish food with food. Did you know you can make a mouse out of a radish? No kidding, you could be a hit at your family’s next gathering. “Mom, I only know how to make mice and gerbils, but I am working on how to make Uncle Ernie out of an eggplant and kiwi.” The possibilities are endless!

Of course knowing how to make all types of rodents out of radishes won’t get you booked as a caterer at your sister’s wedding, but it is a start. You might get asked to do your in-law’s anniversary party.

The meeting concluded with all the participants sculpting someone they know out of fruits, melon seeds, and vegetables. Remember potatoes are acceptable in portraying a husband. The reason is because of their versatility. Most wives already make a connection between their husbands and a spud; stuffed, half-baked, rotten or bland. Then again, do we need to bring up the couch potato thing again?

On the other hand, if the only fruit you have at home from which to sculpt your significant other is a watermelon, follow the warning that’s given a lot on television. DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME.”

About enthusiasmiscontagious

I am an individual who analyzes all facets of life in the hopes of squeezing out some of the humorous parts.
This entry was posted in The Lighter Side Newspaper column and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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