Whose Missing From Your Table?


I am most blessed. If you could close your eyes and imagine the best Thanksgiving ever, that’s what I had each year as a child. Each Thanksgiving we traveled to my grandparents stately home in Ballardvale, Massachusetts to feast on the most mouth watering foods you could ever imagine. Tables would be teeming with roast turkey, all types of vegetables, mashed potatoes, pies, Italian cookies, and cheesecake. My grandfather was Italian,  his wish despite all the other trimmings was the table must offer a pasta dish like spaghetti and meatballs. It was an international feast! Even today I close my eyes and imagine myself sitting at that large dining room table surrounded by everything and everyone I love.

My grandmother was an amazing cook. The best!  I can still see her sitting in her preferred high-legged stool by the stove cooking. Her favorite pressure cooker making more the sounds of an automatic sprinkler head than a cooking appliance. The smell of fresh baked rolls wafting throughout the house. She was the Thanksgiving Master and she held court in her kitchen.

I was all of seven years old in 1968. The family, uncles, aunts, had gathered together for the annual feast. We all congregated in adjoining rooms talking loudly, laughing, children playing, while my grandmother was busy doing her cuisine magic.

Suddenly from the kitchen a tremendous bang followed by distressing screams pierced the air. Instantly we all rushed to the kitchen to find my grandmother crumpled on the floor. Her faithful pressure cooker had betrayed her this day and had exploded. The hot water scalding her from head to toe. My uncle Tom, my father and grandfather carried her to her bed and began the task of bandaging her burns. For the first time, Thanksgiving ceased to be Thanksgiving; someone was missing from the table.

My grandmother recovered and once again the following year she assumed her favorite place by the stove at Thanksgiving. As I recollect on that particular holiday I dwell on who else is missing from my table. Since 1968, numerous loved ones and friends have left too many empty chairs to count at my table and I miss them all. However one chair I can never leave empty is the one reserved for Jesus. He must remain the ever present guest in my home. After all, is it not His love and benevolence that makes every Thanksgiving possible?

Some tables are empty this season, but if God is your guest, your table is more full than you’ll ever know.

 

 

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Preacher, I Have a Praise!


As a pastor, one of the things a church does weekly and weakly, is to take a moment during the church service to offer a moment of praise and prayer requests. Often this little segment resembles more an organ recital than a praise service; persons stand and say this organ hurts and that organ hurts.

It is quite exciting for me and I’m sure for God too to actually hear an honest to goodness praise report. This week my wife and I were spared a head on collision when a car passing us tried to pass me and four other cars on a hill. The oncoming car and I slammed on our brakes and the car scooted in in the nick of time. At church if I heard that true account, I would definitely classify that as a praise.

However this morning, an incident occurred in San Francisco that would have made me wait in line to get to church early just to hear the praise first hand. A worker with Century Window Cleaners had his harness break while washing windows 11 stories up. Usually such a mishap would have resulted in instant death. But not today, the worker’s guardian angel had to have been working the early shift.

What can only be described as miracle, the man crashed onto a moving Toyota Camry.  With a thunderous boom, he landed on the roof of the car behind the drivers seat and caved the back end of the car down to the seat shattering the rear window.

Can you imagine the thoughts running through his head as he plummeted to the ground? I can only assume his relationship with God improved far greater on his decent than his earlier morning ascent.

Police say he was rushed to San Francisco General Hospital and he was conscious. They say he suffered a fractured arm, among other serious injuries. The person in the car however managed to escape with minor injury.

I’m not sure when the accident victim will be able to attend church again but if he wants to come to my church and share his story during the praise and prayer request segment, I’ll give him all time he needs. In fact, I’ll give him the whole sermon time. Talk about being having the right form of thankfulness this coming week!

Regarding the man driving the car? His praise report is mixed. While he was spared serious injury, his auto insurance policy won’t cover the damages; something about an “act of God.” A typical response; God frequently gets the blame but not the credit. So what do you want to thank God for this holiday season?

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Dispelling Three Myths in Life


Here is a story from my Lighter Side newspaper column.

All my life, I have walked the fine line of mundane. I do three things daily not because of their importance, but rather because I’ve always done them a particular way. The worse part is I don’t know why!

For instance, how many of us, despite the power of our subconscious, fail to remove tickets attached to our pillows or mattresses? You know, the ones that say in big bold letters, “Under penalty of law cannot be removed? ” I know, it looks so ominous and official, so naturally we think we’ll get in trouble if we remove the annoying thing.

Myth #1: 3 am, Knock, Knock, Knock, “Open Up!” “Hurry Agnes, get the duct tape, it’s the Mattress Police. Where in the world did you place all those blasted tags?” “I don’t know, I think I took one to work the other day to show the office how tough I was!” “YOU WHAT?”

Reality: A mattress devoid of its tag looks like your 102-year old Aunt Edna with her blue tinged wig. Yes it looks silly, but hey you’re used to it.

Myth #2 Men are always told when marrying a woman they should look at the mother of the bride. The reasoning, one day the bride will look exactly like her mother.

Reality: Actually, this is not a myth! It’s just that you have to spend the remainder of your marital existence denying, while she gets ready in front of the mirror, that she is not morphing into her mother.

Myth #3 A daily change of underwear is paramount to success.

Have you ever asked your 30 year-old son if he’s changed his underwear? The reason you ask is because you’d be embarrassed if he got into an accident and the emergency room staff would see him. Which reminds me, how many nurses take time out to write someone’s mother?

” Dear Mrs. Jones, I thought you should know that your son embarrassed his family lineage today. He wore a pair of boxer shorts into our ER that looked they’d been used as a battle flag in the War of 1812. It also pains me to have to tell you that…egads… they were, well let’s just say that parts weren’t in their original color and design. Please move out of state, change your name, save yourself!”

Reality: Even if you wore a clean pair of underwear, wouldn’t a near miss with an oncoming cement truck initiate the need for a new pair?

So what have we learned today from the three myths of life? Go ahead, live dangerously! Rip the offending tags off our old mattresses and wear the same shorts for two days if you like. But whatever you do, don’t tell your wife she is looking like her mother. It’s okay to live life on the edge once and a while, but NOT recklessly.

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The Sting of Humiliation


Whoever said their high school years were the best years of their life is either lying or extremely forgetful. I remember the awkwardness of entering high school and trying to make a name for myself. I loved to travel, I had sung in a family trio at a very young age, so high school choir seemed to be the natural choice.

In order to hide my insecurities with my new classmates, I joked a lot. I quickly became known as the funny new freshman. Sure I liked to tell witty stories but not on command; I prefer spontaneous humor. It becomes a bit annoying when people even now introduce me to someone and as if I were their personal court jester and say, “Say something funny.” That places a lot of pressure on an individual.

Our choir had finished a concert in Connecticut and this trip found me a bit melancholy. It’s not often that I am, but when I do get this way I prefer to keep a low profile. One of the choir members parent’s lived on the route home so we stopped and refreshed. We ate some snacks and used their bathroom facilities. It’s not often you cram a modest suburban home with 30 high school kids and a high profile bus sits in the driveway.

Looking back I’m sure my female classmate (whose home we were in) wanted to show off her new friends to her parents, but it was a bit overwhelming for me. She started asking me to entertain and my peers began demanding that I say something funny. I declined, they wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was emphatic that I wasn’t going to be manipulated into being put on the spot.

I exited the room and found the bathroom free. As I conducted business and reentered the room, the whole room immediately erupted into raucous laughter. Everyone was pointing at me as if I had told the funniest story in the world. I was confused, the very thing I declined to do, I did without saying a word. For prominently sticking through the zipper of my pants as if it were a transport flag on a load of lumber, was the flapping tail of my long white shirt. I had not tucked my shirt in properly and it was now sticking out my fly.

Embarrassed, my face burned as if I had traded my hair dryer for a blow torch. With my dignity in tatters, I held back my tears and exited the house to go outside and sit in the bus alone. It was my intuitive choir director Mr. Carl Wessman who followed me to the bus. Sitting beside me, he said, “Don’t take the mistakes of life too hard. Your sense of humor is a natural gift, use it even if it’s at your expense to make others smile. ”

I have thought of those words often in my life. I still like to make people laugh, albeit not from an improperly tucked shirt. I have even suffered many other foibles and mishaps more embarrassing than the zippered incident. But the additional words of advice my teacher gave me that one night sticks with me today. “If we can’t laugh at our self, who can we laugh at?”

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